Sunday, January 8, 2012

Male Versus Female Bonding

Dear Baby,

When you were first born, Daddy didn't hold you right away. At first I thought there was something wrong, but that wasn't the case. Now, for you, Daddy didn't hold you right away because he was afraid he'd hurt you since you were so small. However, I've noticed that a lot of male relatives are usually hesitant to hold a baby (not just preemies). I was wondering about it, then I remembered something I learned a long time ago, and it helped me to understand.

Now, obviously the whole idea of males being nervous to hold a baby in case they hurt them still stands. Guys are constantly being told they don't know their own strength, but I really feel this reason is only part of the story.

Men are visual creatures, whereas women are more sensual. Men need visual stimulation for many things, whereas women do not. I think this includes bonding with other people. Women need to hold and touch a baby (especially their own) in order to bond with it. That's why all the female relatives will usually clamber all over each other to get their turn to hold a new baby. Men tend to let the females go wild and simply sit back and observe. They catch a lot of flak for it, but I think this might actually be a perfectly suitable way for a male to bond.

Admittedly, I pressured Daddy a little to hold you, because these thoughts I've written didn't occur to me then. However, Daddy spent a lot more time staring at you adoringly. I guess that's all he needed, at the time, to feel a loving Daddy/Daughter bond.

So, if you ever have kids and your husband/bf/etc doesn't insist on holding the baby right away, take it easy on him, ok?

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