Lvl Up: 3 Months

Dear Baby,

I'm sorry I haven't written much this month. I've been very sick. I need to have my gallbladder out, but the doctors are taking their time booking me for surgery. This past week has been the worst, so we've been staying at Nana's for a few days. We're going back home today though, because Daddy misses us soooo much, and tomorrow is the beginning of his weekend; so he can lose some sleep and not be unsafe at work (Daddy works with big machines so he has to be alert). I feel better today though; and since you're being a couch-bundle, I figured I'd do your birthday message now.

First of all, I called you a couch-bundle because whenever you're happily bundled up in a blanket Daddy and I call you our Baby-Bundle. You're a couch-bundle right now, because you're all bundled up on Nana's couch. Don't worry about being a couch-bundle though. Whenever you're a couch-bundle I tuck you into the corner with a heavy pillow blocking the edge of the couch (just incase that moment is the moment you decide you're ready to roll over and over). I always block you in like a triangle, with the base at your head, so you have plenty of room to breath but have your little body snuggled in place. I also make sure I can always see you for extra safety. You love being a bundle!

Ok, here's the list of new Baby things you've accomplished in the last month:

Toys - Not only do you play with the toys that dangle down on your Princess Chair, but you also have a favourite snuggle toy now. The Nans bought you a little stuffed reindeer (Rudolph's girlfriend, Clarice, from the classic movie we'll watch this December) and you love to suck on its ear. You also will hug it sometimes and nuzzle your little face into it.

Words - You have firmly decided that "Nah" is your word for your bottle. Whenever you're hungry you fuss and cry out "Nah" until Daddy and I can get the bottle into your mouth...and if we don't move fast enough you start to howl! Now, however, if you're not super hungry, you'll calmly say "Nah" loud enough for Daddy and I to hear, but without the fussing. I think this means you know that Daddy and I do our best to satisfy your needs, so you don't need to panic when you get hungry...you know you'll get fed. You also call your Choochee "Nee". When you want your Nee, you say it so sadly. It's like you're asking for your long-lost best friend to return to you!

People - I think you're starting to learn that you're capable of preferring certain people over others. You're starting to assign "words" to the people you want the most. You've already said "Mama" and "Mah" a lot. That's obviously me, and when you're really upset and crying for me I'm just "Aaaah. Aaaah. Aaaah." You click your tongue in a very definitive way for Daddy (that's because Daddy clicks his tongue to soothe you). You also clearly love Nana! You call her "Nine" or "NieNieNie". You don't have a sound for Auntie E yet, but you make it known that you love her a whole lot too. You love everyone else as well, but I think the four of us are your "favourites".

Growth - You've broken 9lbs! Last time you were measured you were a little more than 1 2/3 feet, and you were 9lbs 2oz. Good growing Baby!! You're still very petite though, and we still get lots of adoring fans commenting on how tiny you are. Mommy and Daddy will literally get stopped in public by complete strangers commenting on how cute and adorable and perfect you are. We already know you're perfect, but we thank your adoring fans anyway.

Rolling Over - You're able to roll from your back to your side on your own now. You can also roll from your tummy all the way to your back. You still haven't rolled from your back to your tummy yet, but that's only a matter of time I'm sure.

Back/Neck Strength - You're now able to hold your head up for super long periods of time, and you love tummy time because you get to show off your strength! You've also been able to hold a sitting up position with no assistance (although I kept my hands close to catch you) for more than 30 seconds at a time. We're exercising your legs now too: I hold you under your arms with your legs touching my lap, and you push back with your legs. They're getting really strong. You should be able to play in your Jolly Jumper pretty soon! You love, love, love sitting and standing now. You love anything that makes you feel like a big girl!

Those are the main accomplishments I can remember right now, Baby. I'm starting to get sleepy again. I think I'll join you for a nap on the couch. We can be couch-bundles together!

Mommy and Daddy love you so much, Baby! Keep growing and keep being the smart, adorable, perfect little (big) girl that you always are! Oh, and keep those huge, adorable smiles coming! Everyone eats those up!

Lvl Up: 2 Months

Dear Baby,

Yesterday was the day you were supposed to be born. Now that we're here, I can definitely say I'm soooo happy you decided to come out early. I can't imagine the last two months (and a bit) without you! Staying true to birthday tradition, I'm making a list of all the cognitive developments you've made since your 1 Month Birthday:

Laugh - Now with sound! You laugh half the time without sound still, but half the time you make noise now; and it is the most beautiful laugh I've ever heard. I can tell your a happy baby, because you laugh in your sleep almost every night!

Toys - You have enough control over your hands now to reach up and bat at the toys that hang down over your Princess Chair (your bouncy seat). You're still gentle and curious, instead of confident and enthusiastic, but that's just because you're still new at using your hands for things and at playing with toys. Every once in a while, though, you give one of them a good smack and they dance for you with vigour!

Baby Words - You've started making more coos and gurgles and other baby noises. However, amazingly you've also already assigned a specific sound to your bottle. You call it your "Nah". Daddy and I know your fussing (you never cry unless we keep you waiting for a while) because you're hungry when you yell out "Nah". And, when Daddy or I say, "Hailey wants her Nah? Here comes your Nah." or something similar to that, you calm down and stop fussing for a few minutes while you wait patiently for your milk.

Real Words - Your speedy development is actually starting to freak me and Daddy out a bit. True to your nature, you've already said your first word well before it's expected of typical babies. Your first real word is the typical first word: "Mama". Momma's gallbladder isn't working properly, and it needs to come out. One night, Momma had to stay at the hospital overnight, and Daddy says you were crying and no matter what he did he couldn't console you. Then you yelled out "Mama" very clearly, and that's when Daddy realized you were upset because I wasn't there. Daddy and I know babies make "Mah" sounds naturally, but this was no accident. Daddy swears you clearly said "Mama" with no break inbetween the syllables! I wasn't sure I believed him 100%, but a couple days later I was outside, smoking and you did it again. I'm your first word!

Those are the main milestones you've reached so far. Your coordination, sound recognition and sight are all developing as well as they should be. You're getting very good at controlling your neck and holding up your head. You're still growing rapidly and are nearly caught up with the full term babies that were born when you were. All the doctors and nurses at the Health Unit and other medical staff that meet you are always so impressed with how healthy you are and how quickly you're maturing.

Also, you're a brave little girl! You had your first shots today, and you did so well! You only cried for three seconds, and then continued on happily as if nothing happened. The nurses agreed with Momma that you're a superstar (I bragged about how well you did in the NICU to them when we first met).

Finally, at the Health Clinic, you were weighed. Daddy and I were shocked to find out you've already almost doubled your birthweight! You're 8lbs 1oz. Good growing!

Parental Ideals

Dear Baby,

I was thinking about what would be best to do when you're older and you come to me for advice (as every child does). I don't like what almost all parent do, which is simply tell their child what they would do in the same situation, or they tell them what they want them to do. You're not me, so what I would do may not be the best choice for you. I decided that when you come to me for advice or guidance, I'd like to give you as many reactions to choose from as I can think of. Then, because you may want to know, I'd tell you what I would do if I were in your place.

For example, it's inevitable that you'll run into ignorant people who will react negatively to the fact that you have a Nana and a Nanny on Mommy's side and an Auntie with a girlfriend on Daddy's side. There's probably a good chance that one of your classmates will tease you about it; and when you come to me for help, I plan to let you know that there are many reactions you can choose from to handle it.

I like this idea best, because it'll benefit you immensely in life. Not only will it teach you that you always have a choice in how you conduct yourself, but it also teaches you to think out your options when tackling an issue in life instead of just blindly reacting (which will help build your problem solving skills). It'll help build your confidence to know that despite what challege you're facing you handled it in your own way. It'll teach you that for every decision you make, there is a consequence: Make a good decision and things will work well, but make a not-so-good decision and you may regret it. Also, I really want to encourage your individuality. I want to teach you that you are the only one who can truly decide what you will, or will not, do in life.

It was about 4am when I was thinking about this. I was outside having a smoke, and suddenly a mother came out of the building, carrying her little boy. I guess the boy had done something to upset her, and I heard her tell her son that he was "bad". That got me thinking about another parenting factor. I want to promise you that I will never tell you you're bad. Every child pushes his or her boundaries, and every child tests his or her parent's patience. It's part of growing up and it's part of your personal development.

I want to remember, and I want to teach you, that just because someone does something that's less than ideal, that doesn't neccessarily make them a bad person. There are bad people in the world, but not everyone that makes a bad decision is a bad person. When I'm upset with you, I really do hope I remember to seperate your actions from who you are as a person. If I ever say you're bad, then I apologize now. If I ever called you bad, I was wrong and I was bad for saying so. You are not a bad person, Baby; and if I ever say you are, you have every right to tell me I'm wrong!

Lastly, I want to remember to let you say "No". So many parents tell their children to never say "no" to them. That is probably one of the biggest mistakes a parent can make! When children grow up always getting in trouble for disagreeing with their parents, they have a hard time saying "no" to anyone when they're older. It can result in a lot of bad things happening to them. You are definitely allowed to tell me "no". In fact, I encourage it. I want you to voice when you're happy with something and when you're not happy with something. Just remember, though, just because you say "no" to me about a decision I've made, doesn't mean you're going to get your way. In the end, I'm the Mommy, so if I say it's time for bed and you say "no", it's still time for bed!

Success!

Dear Baby,

You're such a superstar! After only two days of trying, you're now able to get your hand to your toys on your bouncy chair all by yourself everytime you try! You're so thrilled with yourself! You love to sit in the chair and smack at the toys so they move back and forth over your head. You watch them until they stop, then you smack them again. Mommy and Daddy are so proud, and I think you're proud of yourself too!

Also, I'd like to report that you are one super happy baby. You smile and laugh all the time; and for the last week, you've laughed or giggled in your sleep at night every night. This makes me and Daddy so thrilled. I guess we're doing a good job providing for you. I'm so happy that you're so happy!

Tummy Time

Dear Baby,

Today we had "Tummy Time". You're still very small, so I lay down, propped up a little, and hold you tummy down on my chest for now. We had a happy Tummy Time. At one point you kicked your little foot, and I said "Oh, are you kicking your foot?" I guess you thought you were in trouble because you started to fuss a little. I said, "No, no. It's ok. Those are your little toes. You can do whatever you want with your little toes." You liked that and did your silent laugh; so I said, "That's right. Those are Hailey's toes. Hailey can do anything she wants with her little toes." You smiled.

We cuddled and I talked to you and you had lots of smiles. Tummy Time was a success.

On another note, you're still a super smart baby. You're now able to identify when you're hungry versus when you just want to suck for comfort. When you want to suck, but you're not hungry, you squish your lips tightly together when Daddy or I offer you the bottle. When we switch and try your Choochee, you open your mouth just enough to slip the Choochee inside. When you're hungry, though, you'll open your mouth wide for the bottle. This makes it very easy for Daddy and I to learn the difference between your "I'm Hungry" cry and your "Choochee, please" cry.

Also, I was worrying that you weren't gaining any weight since you came home, but you definitely are. Just yesterday, Daddy and I found out that you're too big for your Preemie diapers now. You now wear full-term newborn diapers. Good growing!!

One more thing: Your bouncy chair is probably the best $30 Daddy and I have ever spent. You love it! We call it your Princess Throne. You love to sleep in it during the day, all tucked in with your blanket. Your Throne is in the Living Room, where Mommy and Daddy can keep an eye on you, but still do things around the apartment. You like having the TV on in the background for the happy noises. You're also already trying to reach for the toys that hang down on your Throne. You've been successful in connecting your hand to them once or twice. This is good progress in developing your eye-hand coordination. Daddy and I are impressed!

You're doing very well, Baby. Everyone is so happy that you're finally home, including you!

Home Sweet Home

Dear Baby,

It's been about four days since you've been home. The first couple nights were rough. You must have been overwhelmed, because your feeding schedule got all messed up. In fact, there really wasn't a "schedule" to speak of. You ate completely random amounts at completely random times. You didn't sleep much the first night; which means neither did Daddy or me. But that's ok. Daddy and I took turns letting the other sleep. I took the night shift, because I'm a night owl anyway; and just as I was beginning to get too exhausted to function, Daddy woke up and took over. Daddy and I are a great team!

Luckily it was Daddy's weekend when you came home, and luckily you settled in really quickly. Now you're back to a somewhat regular feeding schedule and you sleep for long periods of time (which is good, because a human can only grow and develop when asleep). The nurse at the NICU was worried that I wouldn't be able to keep up with your feeding demands, so she slipped me a case of premixed formula. She didn't need to worry. In just the last couple days, my milk supply has doubled! I'm definitely keeping up.

The only kink in our plans that remains is that you don't like to sleep in your crib for very long right now. I totally understand though. You were in Mommy's womb for almost seven months. Then you were in the little incubator for a few weeks. Now you've been in the little cots at the hospital for a few weeks. You're used to sleeping in small spaces. Your crib is absolutely beautiful, but it's quite large (especially compared to your tiny body). So, despite what all the "experts" say, I bring you into bed with me for most of the night. I try to put you to bed in your crib after each feeding, but most of the time you howl until I bring you back out and cuddle you.

Luckily for us, I don't move in my sleep. Whatever position I fall asleep in, is the exact same position I wake up in. Daddy moves around a lot though; so I hold you against my chest, with you facing outwards so your breathing is nice and clear, with my back to Daddy. I make sure I have my arm around you to hold you in place, and I make sure your neck is straight so you can breathe easily.

All the experts and all the books advise against this, but they don't know you. I read the "Tao of Motherhood" recently, and it's really helped put things in perspective. Each baby is different. Each parent is different. Therefore the "best" thing to do for each new family is different. I don't feel bad for bringing you into bed with me, even if the books disagree, because I know you're safe and I know you'll sleep better this way. I feel the highest authority on what's right for a child is his/her mother's own intuition.

Baby books nowadays are good at stressing that each baby is an individual, but then they go on to give generic advice and claim it's what's best for all babies. Those two statements seem contradictory to me. So, I've decided to just do what our "bond" tells me is right to do, and to hell with all the so-called "experts". The only people that are experts at raising you are you, me and your Daddy!

I hope more mothers start listening to their intuition, instead of raising their babies "by the book". I also hope more mothers read the "Tao of Motherhood". Not only did it make me feel better about my decisions regarding you, but it helped me feel less stressed and more serene about being a mommy.

The Best Day Ever!

Well, that was fast! Just a couple days ago, I wrote to you about how you were coming home soon. Well, I went to the NICU yesterday morning and was told that you'd be coming home today! You have no idea how thrilled Daddy and I are! It feels like Christmas!!

You passed your carseat test with flying colours. You didn't even fuss one bit; you just sat there happily looking around the room. A lot of babies find the car seat uncomfortable or scary (because it's new) and will cry hysterically. Not you! You're so ready to come home.

You've also created your own feeding schedule already. Instead of drinking the 60mL every three hours that the nurses were giving you, you prefer to drink about 90mL every four hours instead. This helps me out, because it means the pumping schedule I've already created for myself ensures that there's always at least two feedings worth of milk available for you.

I hope you're just as happy at home as you seem to be in the NICU. I find myself amazed at what a "Dream Baby" you've been so far. You don't cry hysterically, like most babies, until your needs are met; and, when you do fuss or cry, you calm down almost immediately once I start talking quietly to you and stroke your hair or pick you up. You're a surrpisingly mellow, easy to please, little girl! Even the nurses said that you constantly surprise them with how content you always are. The only time you ever cried like a baby normally does (loud and inconsolable for a while) was when you were still having tummy problems, and you had an enormous amount of gas that needed to be passed. Since too much gas can cause actual pain, I'm not surprised that you cried that hard until you had passed it! Besides that one episode, you always seem to be at peace.

There's a lot of mothers who swear they have a "psychic"-like bond with their babies. These mothers know what their baby needs almost instantly without having to analyze the type of crying their babies are doing or their body language, etc. Some mothers even know, without being in the same room or having the baby make any noise, when their baby is awake. I've never heard of a baby having that same bond with its mother and responding to that bond! Babies only have the capacity to recognize their own needs, and whether or not those needs are being met. They certainly don't (can't) realize that there's other people who have their own needs and that they can effect those people's moods by meeting or not meeting those people's needs.

You, however, are different. It's like you know what makes Daddy and me happy or content, and you do what you can to ensure we're fulfilled as well. You know we love it when you smile, so you smile all the time and even laugh. You seem to have picked up that I was struggling to keep up with your feedings, so you've made yourself a feeding schedule that gives me an opportunity to keep up with your tummy. You are constantly blowing my mind with how mature you are, Baby! You aren't just a gift, or even just a miracle, you are indescribable.