Lvl Up: 7 Months

Dear Baby,

Wow. Seven months already. I'm pretty sure just yesterday you were barely four months. That's what sleep deprivation does to you though! Just kidding; but I am actually rather sleep deprived, so this post won't have the same personality I try to inject in my ramblings to you. I apologize, but I promise to spice up the next one! So, here we go:

Achievement Unlocked:

• Roll Over - The physiotherapist came by recently to check on your motor skills. You're only behind in your ability to roll from your back to your tummy and sit unaided. You're making incredibly progress in rolling from your back to your tummy though. You've done it a few times by yourself by accident, but then I see you lying there trying to figure out what just happened and how and why. Good learning!
• Pass - This may seem insignificant, but it's actually a huge milestone in a baby's development: You've figured out how to seamlessly pass a toy from one hand to the other! Sometimes you'll sit there passing the same toy back and forth and back and forth for quite a long time. I love watching your baby-brain analyze and comprehend the new things your body is able to do!
• Daddy - Finally. Your first "real" word. When you first said "Daddy" I was amazed, but I didn't know if you realized what it even meant. You've said "real" words by accident before. However, when you saw Daddy the next morning, sure enough, you recognized him and said loudly, and oh-so-clearly, "Daddy!" Now you love looking at him and going "Dadda, Dadda, Daddy". Also, when you haven't seen him for a while, you look at me and raise your little eyebrows up and say "Dadda". Then I explain that Daddy's at work, and I tell you when you'll see him again. I guess you understand because you'll sigh and go back to whatever you were doing beforehand.
• Nutrition - Congratulations, you're now eating actual (home-made) baby food on a daily basis. We're sticking with half a serving, of one fruit or vegetable, once a day for now. We don't want to push your little preemie tummy! You seem to be tolerating this schedule well, so we're going to keep it up for a bit. So far, you really like bananas; but you just can't deal with the texture of potatoes. I gave you a spoonful of it at the Nans' place, and you spewed everywhere. So we'll be avoiding potatoes for now. I've just made a batch of peas and a batch of carrots, so we'll see what you think of those very soon!
• Favourites - You have a favourite animal now. Guess what it is: Doggies! The first time I've ever heard you laugh a big, deep, belly laugh was when you were listening to Daddy's family's dog barking his head off. You laughed so hard and for so long you actually spat up a little. You want so badly to pet him, but you get too excited right now and just grab a hand full of his hair and hold on tight. Doggies don't really like that, so Momma's helping you practice how to pet nicely with your toys. First Momma pets the toy nicely, then she holds your hand and shows you how. I hope you pick it up soon, so you can pet all the doggies your little eyes see!

I'm sorry this post is so short and straight forward. I like to make my posts to you at least somewhat fun to read, but Momma needs to go to bed! Daddy and I love you so much, and I promise to make a much longer, more involved post next time! Keep on growing and developing as much as you can, Princess!

Lvl Up: 6 Months

Dear Baby,

I've been seriously neglecting my correspondence with you! I have a list of posts I want to make; however I've been very busy...with you! You're so much more interactive now, and you sleep a lot less. This means you're getting more mature; and since you're now 6 months, this makes complete sense!

Achievement Unlocked:

Food - You've been doing great with your rice cereal, and you've made the transition to Stage 2 formula with no issues. Guess what time it is now! Time to start baby food! In a few weeks, I'm going to the Farmer's Market to pick up a yam (aka sweet potatoe) for your first meal! Momma and Daddy have worked out the routine: Momma will cut and steam your foods, then Daddy will puree it in the Baby Bullet the Nans bought for him at your shower. We're all very excited to start this next step in your eating evolution. You're probably the most excited: You love to watch Daddy and me eat!

Vocalization - Daddy got scolded for all the groaning he does, because you've now picked it up too! I understand that you want to practice all your sounds; so I don't stop you when you groan, but after hearing it 348927398473 times Momma gets slightly annoyed. But I'm more than happy to let you groan all day long, because I know that every new sound needs to be practiced to help you develop your language skills.

I Love You - Speaking of, well, speaking: Your Uncle Josh has been trying to teach you "I love you", and you've even started saying it back (in baby-talk of course). When you want to tell someone you love them, you say "Ah-oo" or "Ah-loo". The way we know that's what you're saying, is because you say it with the exact same inflection as Uncle Josh does. One day, you and I were chatting while you dozed off for a nap, and you looked at me and said "Ah-loo, ma ah." Since you were obviously trying to say "I love you, Momma" I excitedly said "I love you too, Baby!"

Mimicing - Also, under the vocalization category, you're starting to do well at mimicing sounds other people are making. Sometimes you like to sing (and by sing I mean yell), so Momma is trying to teach you "La la la" and after I repeat it a couple times, you usually start saying it too. You also like to make funny "brrrrrrt" sounds with your lips that Momma taught you. You're a good little parrot!

Toys/Hands - You have pretty much mastered your hands! You now hold toys, turn wheels on activity sets and have even tossed a couple toys at your feet. You still love to play with Momma's hands as you fall asleep, and you're very good at being gentle but confident when you're handling things. I guess you don't like tags on your toys, because you try very hard to pull them off. Your eye/hand coordination is excellent!

Mobilization - Even though you hate tummy time, Daddy and I still have you do it for a few minutes every once in a while. We don't like making you do things you hate, but tummy time is very important for developing your muscles. Daddy does tummy time the best, though, so Momma lets him do it as often as possible (you don't fuss nearly as much for Daddy's tummy time). Yesterday you even started doing very deliberate crawling motions. You didn't get very far, because your arms still aren't incredibly strong, but you seem to understand the concept now. Now that you have a goal, perhaps tummy time will be more enjoyable to you!

Choices - You're now able to make choices! That's a major mental development! A little while ago, we went shopping to get you a sippy cup (among other things). Momma couldn't decide between three, so you got to pick! I held up all three, but there were only two that you were focusing on. I put down the one you weren't interested in, and held up the remaining two. After a bit of deliberation, where you focused on one then the other, you reached for the green and purple one. That's the one we bought, and you love it. Sometimes Momma and Daddy will hold up two toys, or two pairs of socks and let you choose which one you want. Whichever one you reach for first, or focus on the longest, is your choice. You're actually very quick in your decisions; just like we suspected, you know what you want!

Sleep - You're so close, so close, to sleeping a full 12 hours at night. You sleep from 8pm to 8 or 9 am with only one or two interruptions. Lately it's just been one, at about 5am, for a big feeding. If you wake up twice, the second time is around 1am for a quick feeding. When you wake up in morning, you only stay up for an hour or two. Right around 10am (just as Daddy is leaving for work), you get super cranky and go down for your nap (this is anywhere from 2-5 hours). Then you're up for the rest of the day (with only 1 or 2 quick, 20 minute cat naps thrown in). At 8pm you're ready and willing to go to sleep for the night. Now I just have to make sure I go to bed at 12am at the latest (not the earliest, which is what I have been doing!), and we'll both be well rested for the days!

Those are all the developments I can think of for now. You had your 6 month boosters, and took them like a champ! You are now 15lbs 1.5oz! This means you're caught up to your fullterm counterparts. You're not at the 50th Percentile on the growth charts, but you're very close: This means that you're at a healthy weight for a 6 month baby that was born fullterm. Good growing, Princess!!!

Lvl Up: 5 Months

Dear Baby,

Wow, time is going fast and you're growing fast too! We haven't officially weighed you this month, but you're definitely over 12lbs! Your facial features are maturing (and you're really so pretty), and your eyes are definitely going green. In the sunlight, there's no blue left in them, just a pretty light green colour. Your hair is growing and darkening, and you finally fit into 3 - 6 month clothing! Since you were born 2 months early, it seems your growth is right on track!

Achievement Unlocked:

• Hands - You're much more confident in your hand movement now. You move them with purpose, and you can grab and hold things now. You're already trying to hold your Nah by yourself, and sometimes you can do it but momma eventually has to take over. You hold your toys and sometimes you even get them to your mouth to suck on. One of your favourite things to do now when you're tired but not ready to sleep, is to hold my thumb in one hand and my pinkie in the other. Then you study my hand and you make the fingers move. It's good for developing your eye/hand coordination and learning cause and effect. You seem to explore things more with your hands than with your mouth at this point. Honestly, the only time your hands aren't moving are when you're deep asleep!
• Vocalization - You tell whole, long stories now. Sometimes you'll sit, facing someone, and just babble on and on. It's adorable! You also communicate with baby sounds now, instead of just different types of crying. If you're sitting up and you start to get tired, you make a quiet whine/groan sound to signal that you want to lie down. You still say Nah and Nee (although you've been asking for your Nee less often now). You even laugh when other people are laughing now!
• Big Girl Baths - We don't need to use your princess tub anymore. You love the big bath. Most babies are scared of it at first, but not you! You LOVE all the room you have to kick your feet and float around. Momma puts you on your back, and keeps a hand under your head, and the other hand under your baby-bum, and lets you float. It's your favourite thing to do. Sometimes, when it's Daddy's weekend, Momma has a bath with you!
• Scootching - You've started your first mobilization! When you're on your back, you've learned to put your feet down and kick. This way you scootch up. You scootch all over your crib in the morning if you're not asleep, and one time you scootched across the couch so you could lie closer to Grampa. It was adorable.
• Big Girl Food - I saved the best for last, Baby! Daddy and I knew you were ready to start food, but we waited an extra month to make very sure that your tummy was as ready as your mouth! A week ago, I bought some Rice Cereal pablum-stuff. It's mostly liquid, but it's thicker than your Nah. You loved it! The only reason any dribbled down your chin was because you were smiling so big the first time you tried it! Every few days, I give you some big girl cereal in the evening. That way I can make sure you don't have any trouble with it (because I'm still awake), but it keeps you full longer, so I can get some solid sleep. You still wake up twice a night, but with the Rice Cereal, I can get about four or five hours of sleep before you wake up for the first night feeding.

That's that. You still have a routine that you're sticking to. You're having longer wakeful periods, and you're doing better in your Jolly Jumper. Daddy and Momma are so proud of you. You really are developing fast!

Momma's New Years Resolutions

Dear Baby,

I want to thank you for blessing Daddy and me by choosing us to be your parents. There's no easy way to say this, but your momma is fat. I don't mean a little pudgy, or that I have left over flabbiness from our pregnancy; no, momma is considered morbidly obese. I weigh about 270lbs, and I'm only 5' 1.5". That's very fat.

The worst part is, Momma can be skinny. In fact, I was a size 4 by the time I graduated high school. Although I had always been a little pudgy, I started running on a treadmill when I was 17. In the end I looked and (most importantly) felt great! Then some not-so-happy things happened in my life. Then even more not-so-happy things happened. Over the years, I sort of gave up on myself. I guess I didn't really feel I was worth the trouble of maintaining a healthy body. A cycle started: The more weight I gained, the less motivation I had to take care of my physical health.

Here's where the blessing of you comes into play. Maybe I wasn't enough motivation for myself, but you are! I was thinking about how happy I am now that I have you and Daddy in my life, and I remembered how great I felt when I was in good shape. It's not even the fact that I looked good; it's more that I felt good and I was healthy. Being healthy in all aspects of your being (mentally, emotionally/spiritually, and physically) is very important. I'm probably going to touch on the subject of taking care of yourself a lot in this blog, because I truly believe it's one of the most important things you can do.

Anyway, while I was thinking I started asking myself how having a physically unhealthy momma would affect you. How will I keep up with you when you finally learn to crawl, let alone walk? How will I be able to run after you and keep you safe when you go barrelling out into the road without looking first (as every child does at least once in his/her life)? How will I play outside with you, or swim with you, or take you on a nature walk? How will I be able to teach you how important it is to take care of your body, if it's obvious that I don't bother to take care of mine? I refuse to ever be a hypocrite to you!

I'm sure, eventually, I would have decided to focus on recovering my physical health on my own; but since you're here, the need to be a good (healthy) momma far outweighs all my lame excuses. That's why I made my New Year's Resolution for 2012 to be much more focused on my health. I plan to change how Daddy and I do groceries, so that we're not eating so many TV dinners or simply snacking on junk food for dinner. I want to start making meals. I'll start off slow, though, so that I don't overwhelm myself. In the meantime, I also bought an elliptical machine to work out. At first I'll work out when you're sleeping, but once you get more confidant in your Jolly Jumper (which Daddy finally let us use, and you love it!), we can work out together! I'm going to put on happy music and face your Jumper to Momma's elliptical machine, and we can have exercise time!

Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for being such a great motivator for Momma. You really inspire me to be a better person in all ways!

EDIT (Jan. 31, 2012): I changed the title to pluralize "Resolution". I figure since I'm telling you my biggest resolution, I may as well follow up by listing my other resolutions. I've decided that this blog isn't just for you, Baby. It is mostly for you, but I also want to help out other Mommas and Daddies. One resolution is to start making some posts on here for parents too. Hopefully, although I know times change, the parent-focused posts will help you later in life too.

Anyway, here are my other resolutions:

• Start a blog focusing on other mothers as a target audience.
• Make more meals (healthy meals!). Daddy works all day at a hard job, then he comes home and usually is the one that makes the meals; and, because he's so exhausted, it's usually something quick and over-processed. I want to start making our dinners, and I want them to be made of REAL food! Momma's going to be using her Crock-Pot a lot, because I just have to add the ingrediants and the machine basically does the rest!
• Do more crafts/DIY projects. Momma's really artsy, and she hasn't really had much of an outlet for her creative side over the last year or so. My usual hobby is playing on the computer. If I switch to doing more crafts, I'll have a hobby that makes me feel productive, and I'll have something to show for it afterwards. Plus, when you're older, you can help me or make your own crafts, and that way Momma's hobby will be easy to make into something that can be our hobby!

That's about it. At the end of the year, I'll go over this list and let you know how I did!

The Secret To Our Success

Dear Baby,

A lot of people, including the nurses at the NICU, have asked me what my secret was to giving birth to you at such a healthy weight. As I've said before, at the time you were born most babies at your gestation weigh only 3.5lbs; however you were born at 4lbs 2oz. Even when you lost weight (as every baby does when he/she is first born), you never dipped below 3.5lbs. Many people, again this includes the NICU nurses, have said that this is one of the main reasons why you not only survived being born so early, but actually thrived (and continue to thrive).

I figure it's about time I let everyone in on my little secret. I do believe there is one thing I did that decided your happy fate.

Instead of driving us down a particular path; instead of going on autopilot; I did nothing but give the wheel to my pregnancy. I listened to my body; and, by doing so, I did nothing but listen to you.

The first trimester we were both very tired. Babies probably do the most physical development during the first trimester, and my body was a host to that development. I didn't force myself to be active, or to eat any particular thing (or to eat at all if I didn't feel like it), or to do any preparations for your arrival. For the first trimester, Baby, we slept for about 22 hours a day. No exaggeration. The couple hours we were awake, I'd eat, tidy the apartment a bit and socialize. That was it. I might get some grief about not following a specific diet or exercise routine, especially during the first trimester, but you were so little that you didn't require any extra fuel. Also, we're lucky, because my cravings at that time were for water and healthy foods. I slept through the majority of my "morning sickness" (which came on in the evening actually), so we didn't go through any of that stress either.

Unfortunately in the fifth month, Momma was very sick. Luckily you had already had a great start, so the lack of food didn't put you at any risk.

Here's where I'm going to get major criticism from other people: In the last six weeks before you popped out early, all I craved was burgers. Red meat, lots of cheese and creamy sauces; and I gave in to those cravings every time they struck. I was on Zofran by then, so we were able to keep the food in my tummy. I still craved water and apple slices and other healthy foods sometimes, and I ate a ton of those whenever those cravings came around; but mostly, Baby, we pigged out. I still slept a lot, and I didn't do any vigorous activities (like cleaning the floors). Luckily Daddy helped a lot. Basically I gave my body to you for your development, and I didn't use it for very much for myself.

If I had carried you to full term, I would feel very guilty about all the junk and fast food we ate in the last six weeks of my pregnancy; however, you came out super early and I think part of the reason why you were such a good weight was the extra fat we had been eating. I only ended up gaining 5lbs. All the rest of the weight was you, extra blood circulation and fluids. With the way we were eating, I have no doubt that almost all the fat and calories went to you. I should have been as big as a house even after the pregnancy was no longer affecting my body!

There you have it: My big secret of our success. I let you take complete control of my body, and I really feel that this decision was what made all the difference! A lot of women force themselves to eat a certain way or to maintain a certain (pregnancy-safe) exercise routine. They ignore their cravings for junk food, and they fight off the sleep their body screams for. I, personally, encourage women to make the effort to become very attune to their bodies and their developing babies. If they listen closely and follow the requests of their bodies and babies, I think they'd have a much more enjoyable (and in some cases more successful) pregnancy!

Male Versus Female Bonding

Dear Baby,

When you were first born, Daddy didn't hold you right away. At first I thought there was something wrong, but that wasn't the case. Now, for you, Daddy didn't hold you right away because he was afraid he'd hurt you since you were so small. However, I've noticed that a lot of male relatives are usually hesitant to hold a baby (not just preemies). I was wondering about it, then I remembered something I learned a long time ago, and it helped me to understand.

Now, obviously the whole idea of males being nervous to hold a baby in case they hurt them still stands. Guys are constantly being told they don't know their own strength, but I really feel this reason is only part of the story.

Men are visual creatures, whereas women are more sensual. Men need visual stimulation for many things, whereas women do not. I think this includes bonding with other people. Women need to hold and touch a baby (especially their own) in order to bond with it. That's why all the female relatives will usually clamber all over each other to get their turn to hold a new baby. Men tend to let the females go wild and simply sit back and observe. They catch a lot of flak for it, but I think this might actually be a perfectly suitable way for a male to bond.

Admittedly, I pressured Daddy a little to hold you, because these thoughts I've written didn't occur to me then. However, Daddy spent a lot more time staring at you adoringly. I guess that's all he needed, at the time, to feel a loving Daddy/Daughter bond.

So, if you ever have kids and your husband/bf/etc doesn't insist on holding the baby right away, take it easy on him, ok?

Lvl Up: 4 Months

Dear Baby,

Well, Baby, it's that time again! Sorry this post is a little late; Momma has been recovering from emergency surgery to finally get her gallbladder out. There's a long list of new things you've discovered you can do, so let's get to it!

Achievement Unlocked:

Laughing – You're getting more confident with your laugh, although it scares you sometimes. You laugh or chuckle a lot (especially at Daddy), you're starting to get ticklish on your sides, and you still laugh your little baby-bum off in your sleep! Nana asked you where you go in your dreams that make you so happy: I think that's the time you visit Poppa Rick. It's too bad he's not here, physically, to meet you; but it makes me happy that you two can spend time together in your dreams. One day I'll write a whole post about Poppa Rick for you, so you can know him better!

Smiling – I'll never forget the first time you stared at me and recognized me as your momma! Your eyes got very bright, and I could see the familiarity dawning in them, then you gave me the biggest, sweetest smile ever. Now you recognize Momma and Daddy, and you smile at us all the time. You also recognize Nana and almost all your other relatives too. You have lots of smiles for all of us.

Words – You're trying so hard to talk now. You make lots of baby grunts and oohs and aahs. When someone asks you a question, you respond with enthusiasm. You try to have conversations, and you even grumble when you're upset now. You say Momma and Nana sometimes, and you still refer to your bottle as Nah and your pacifier as Nee. You don't have any other "real" words, but you're trying really really hard! You especially try hard when I ask you if you can say Daddy. Daddy is a hard word to learn to say, but you want to say it so badly! You make all sorts of noises when you try to say Daddy. Don't worry, you'll get it soon!

Hands – This one gives me mixed feelings: You're now able to suck on your fingers/hands. It's a great accomplishment, because it means you're more aware of your body (being able to get your hands to your mouth successfully); you're more independent (able to recognize that you want sucking-comfort and being able to address that need on your own); and it means Momma doesn't have to get out of bed every two minutes because your Nee has fallen out! However, I believe that letting a baby/child suck on their hands/thumb/etc isn't the healthiest choice. During the day, I replace your hand with your Nee. If you make it obvious, though, that you want your hand specifically (by getting upset and spitting your Nee out right away), then I let you do what you want. I also let you suck your hands at night.

Practice Steps – Now when Momma holds you up to exercise your legs, you try to walk. At first you were very hesitant, but now you're quite confident and determined in your practice steps. One day, you practiced so hard, you actually looked like you were trying to run!

Flashdance – This isn't an "accomplishment" per se, but it's awesome anyways. Sometimes you get so wiggly that you kick your little legs, and swing your little arms so much that you look like Jennifer Beals from "Flashdance" doing her warm up. You do this a lot when Momma or Daddy are trying to change your diaper!

Routine – You've set up a good routine for yourself, all by yourself! You sleep from 10pm – 5am. Then you have an early morning feeding and sleep until about 8am. At that point you wake up for a feeding and some cuddles for an hour. Then you sleep until noon. From noon onward you have your wakeful period. You still have little naps here and there, but for the most part, you're up for the day. I let you have half an hour of TV time when you first wake up. Then we play and talk and cuddle, etc. At around 8pm you get really fussy, so we have more TV time and lots of cuddles. At 9pm you have a bath, get dressed for bed and I read you a story. Then we cuddle until you fall asleep (you rarely make it through the story though). At 10pm you're sound asleep, so Momma puts you in your crib for the night.

Also, you're ready for your Jolly Jumper, but Daddy isn't. You and I have decided to let Daddy have one more month to be confident that you'll be safe, and then we're going to try it out. If everything goes well, you and I will have Exercise Time each day. I'm going to set up your Jumper and Momma's elliptical machine so they face each other. We can put on happy music and exercise each day!

A couple days ago, you had your 4 month immunizations. You now weigh (are you ready for this?) 11lbs 5oz. You're 55cm long; and the nurses all say that despite the fact that you're a preemie, there's no need to worry about your growth. You're still a superstar!!

Lvl Up: 3 Months

Dear Baby,

I'm sorry I haven't written much this month. I've been very sick. I need to have my gallbladder out, but the doctors are taking their time booking me for surgery. This past week has been the worst, so we've been staying at Nana's for a few days. We're going back home today though, because Daddy misses us soooo much, and tomorrow is the beginning of his weekend; so he can lose some sleep and not be unsafe at work (Daddy works with big machines so he has to be alert). I feel better today though; and since you're being a couch-bundle, I figured I'd do your birthday message now.

First of all, I called you a couch-bundle because whenever you're happily bundled up in a blanket Daddy and I call you our Baby-Bundle. You're a couch-bundle right now, because you're all bundled up on Nana's couch. Don't worry about being a couch-bundle though. Whenever you're a couch-bundle I tuck you into the corner with a heavy pillow blocking the edge of the couch (just incase that moment is the moment you decide you're ready to roll over and over). I always block you in like a triangle, with the base at your head, so you have plenty of room to breath but have your little body snuggled in place. I also make sure I can always see you for extra safety. You love being a bundle!

Ok, here's the list of new Baby things you've accomplished in the last month:

Toys - Not only do you play with the toys that dangle down on your Princess Chair, but you also have a favourite snuggle toy now. The Nans bought you a little stuffed reindeer (Rudolph's girlfriend, Clarice, from the classic movie we'll watch this December) and you love to suck on its ear. You also will hug it sometimes and nuzzle your little face into it.

Words - You have firmly decided that "Nah" is your word for your bottle. Whenever you're hungry you fuss and cry out "Nah" until Daddy and I can get the bottle into your mouth...and if we don't move fast enough you start to howl! Now, however, if you're not super hungry, you'll calmly say "Nah" loud enough for Daddy and I to hear, but without the fussing. I think this means you know that Daddy and I do our best to satisfy your needs, so you don't need to panic when you get hungry...you know you'll get fed. You also call your Choochee "Nee". When you want your Nee, you say it so sadly. It's like you're asking for your long-lost best friend to return to you!

People - I think you're starting to learn that you're capable of preferring certain people over others. You're starting to assign "words" to the people you want the most. You've already said "Mama" and "Mah" a lot. That's obviously me, and when you're really upset and crying for me I'm just "Aaaah. Aaaah. Aaaah." You click your tongue in a very definitive way for Daddy (that's because Daddy clicks his tongue to soothe you). You also clearly love Nana! You call her "Nine" or "NieNieNie". You don't have a sound for Auntie E yet, but you make it known that you love her a whole lot too. You love everyone else as well, but I think the four of us are your "favourites".

Growth - You've broken 9lbs! Last time you were measured you were a little more than 1 2/3 feet, and you were 9lbs 2oz. Good growing Baby!! You're still very petite though, and we still get lots of adoring fans commenting on how tiny you are. Mommy and Daddy will literally get stopped in public by complete strangers commenting on how cute and adorable and perfect you are. We already know you're perfect, but we thank your adoring fans anyway.

Rolling Over - You're able to roll from your back to your side on your own now. You can also roll from your tummy all the way to your back. You still haven't rolled from your back to your tummy yet, but that's only a matter of time I'm sure.

Back/Neck Strength - You're now able to hold your head up for super long periods of time, and you love tummy time because you get to show off your strength! You've also been able to hold a sitting up position with no assistance (although I kept my hands close to catch you) for more than 30 seconds at a time. We're exercising your legs now too: I hold you under your arms with your legs touching my lap, and you push back with your legs. They're getting really strong. You should be able to play in your Jolly Jumper pretty soon! You love, love, love sitting and standing now. You love anything that makes you feel like a big girl!

Those are the main accomplishments I can remember right now, Baby. I'm starting to get sleepy again. I think I'll join you for a nap on the couch. We can be couch-bundles together!

Mommy and Daddy love you so much, Baby! Keep growing and keep being the smart, adorable, perfect little (big) girl that you always are! Oh, and keep those huge, adorable smiles coming! Everyone eats those up!

Lvl Up: 2 Months

Dear Baby,

Yesterday was the day you were supposed to be born. Now that we're here, I can definitely say I'm soooo happy you decided to come out early. I can't imagine the last two months (and a bit) without you! Staying true to birthday tradition, I'm making a list of all the cognitive developments you've made since your 1 Month Birthday:

Laugh - Now with sound! You laugh half the time without sound still, but half the time you make noise now; and it is the most beautiful laugh I've ever heard. I can tell your a happy baby, because you laugh in your sleep almost every night!

Toys - You have enough control over your hands now to reach up and bat at the toys that hang down over your Princess Chair (your bouncy seat). You're still gentle and curious, instead of confident and enthusiastic, but that's just because you're still new at using your hands for things and at playing with toys. Every once in a while, though, you give one of them a good smack and they dance for you with vigour!

Baby Words - You've started making more coos and gurgles and other baby noises. However, amazingly you've also already assigned a specific sound to your bottle. You call it your "Nah". Daddy and I know your fussing (you never cry unless we keep you waiting for a while) because you're hungry when you yell out "Nah". And, when Daddy or I say, "Hailey wants her Nah? Here comes your Nah." or something similar to that, you calm down and stop fussing for a few minutes while you wait patiently for your milk.

Real Words - Your speedy development is actually starting to freak me and Daddy out a bit. True to your nature, you've already said your first word well before it's expected of typical babies. Your first real word is the typical first word: "Mama". Momma's gallbladder isn't working properly, and it needs to come out. One night, Momma had to stay at the hospital overnight, and Daddy says you were crying and no matter what he did he couldn't console you. Then you yelled out "Mama" very clearly, and that's when Daddy realized you were upset because I wasn't there. Daddy and I know babies make "Mah" sounds naturally, but this was no accident. Daddy swears you clearly said "Mama" with no break inbetween the syllables! I wasn't sure I believed him 100%, but a couple days later I was outside, smoking and you did it again. I'm your first word!

Those are the main milestones you've reached so far. Your coordination, sound recognition and sight are all developing as well as they should be. You're getting very good at controlling your neck and holding up your head. You're still growing rapidly and are nearly caught up with the full term babies that were born when you were. All the doctors and nurses at the Health Unit and other medical staff that meet you are always so impressed with how healthy you are and how quickly you're maturing.

Also, you're a brave little girl! You had your first shots today, and you did so well! You only cried for three seconds, and then continued on happily as if nothing happened. The nurses agreed with Momma that you're a superstar (I bragged about how well you did in the NICU to them when we first met).

Finally, at the Health Clinic, you were weighed. Daddy and I were shocked to find out you've already almost doubled your birthweight! You're 8lbs 1oz. Good growing!

Parental Ideals

Dear Baby,

I was thinking about what would be best to do when you're older and you come to me for advice (as every child does). I don't like what almost all parent do, which is simply tell their child what they would do in the same situation, or they tell them what they want them to do. You're not me, so what I would do may not be the best choice for you. I decided that when you come to me for advice or guidance, I'd like to give you as many reactions to choose from as I can think of. Then, because you may want to know, I'd tell you what I would do if I were in your place.

For example, it's inevitable that you'll run into ignorant people who will react negatively to the fact that you have a Nana and a Nanny on Mommy's side and an Auntie with a girlfriend on Daddy's side. There's probably a good chance that one of your classmates will tease you about it; and when you come to me for help, I plan to let you know that there are many reactions you can choose from to handle it.

I like this idea best, because it'll benefit you immensely in life. Not only will it teach you that you always have a choice in how you conduct yourself, but it also teaches you to think out your options when tackling an issue in life instead of just blindly reacting (which will help build your problem solving skills). It'll help build your confidence to know that despite what challege you're facing you handled it in your own way. It'll teach you that for every decision you make, there is a consequence: Make a good decision and things will work well, but make a not-so-good decision and you may regret it. Also, I really want to encourage your individuality. I want to teach you that you are the only one who can truly decide what you will, or will not, do in life.

It was about 4am when I was thinking about this. I was outside having a smoke, and suddenly a mother came out of the building, carrying her little boy. I guess the boy had done something to upset her, and I heard her tell her son that he was "bad". That got me thinking about another parenting factor. I want to promise you that I will never tell you you're bad. Every child pushes his or her boundaries, and every child tests his or her parent's patience. It's part of growing up and it's part of your personal development.

I want to remember, and I want to teach you, that just because someone does something that's less than ideal, that doesn't neccessarily make them a bad person. There are bad people in the world, but not everyone that makes a bad decision is a bad person. When I'm upset with you, I really do hope I remember to seperate your actions from who you are as a person. If I ever say you're bad, then I apologize now. If I ever called you bad, I was wrong and I was bad for saying so. You are not a bad person, Baby; and if I ever say you are, you have every right to tell me I'm wrong!

Lastly, I want to remember to let you say "No". So many parents tell their children to never say "no" to them. That is probably one of the biggest mistakes a parent can make! When children grow up always getting in trouble for disagreeing with their parents, they have a hard time saying "no" to anyone when they're older. It can result in a lot of bad things happening to them. You are definitely allowed to tell me "no". In fact, I encourage it. I want you to voice when you're happy with something and when you're not happy with something. Just remember, though, just because you say "no" to me about a decision I've made, doesn't mean you're going to get your way. In the end, I'm the Mommy, so if I say it's time for bed and you say "no", it's still time for bed!

Success!

Dear Baby,

You're such a superstar! After only two days of trying, you're now able to get your hand to your toys on your bouncy chair all by yourself everytime you try! You're so thrilled with yourself! You love to sit in the chair and smack at the toys so they move back and forth over your head. You watch them until they stop, then you smack them again. Mommy and Daddy are so proud, and I think you're proud of yourself too!

Also, I'd like to report that you are one super happy baby. You smile and laugh all the time; and for the last week, you've laughed or giggled in your sleep at night every night. This makes me and Daddy so thrilled. I guess we're doing a good job providing for you. I'm so happy that you're so happy!

Tummy Time

Dear Baby,

Today we had "Tummy Time". You're still very small, so I lay down, propped up a little, and hold you tummy down on my chest for now. We had a happy Tummy Time. At one point you kicked your little foot, and I said "Oh, are you kicking your foot?" I guess you thought you were in trouble because you started to fuss a little. I said, "No, no. It's ok. Those are your little toes. You can do whatever you want with your little toes." You liked that and did your silent laugh; so I said, "That's right. Those are Hailey's toes. Hailey can do anything she wants with her little toes." You smiled.

We cuddled and I talked to you and you had lots of smiles. Tummy Time was a success.

On another note, you're still a super smart baby. You're now able to identify when you're hungry versus when you just want to suck for comfort. When you want to suck, but you're not hungry, you squish your lips tightly together when Daddy or I offer you the bottle. When we switch and try your Choochee, you open your mouth just enough to slip the Choochee inside. When you're hungry, though, you'll open your mouth wide for the bottle. This makes it very easy for Daddy and I to learn the difference between your "I'm Hungry" cry and your "Choochee, please" cry.

Also, I was worrying that you weren't gaining any weight since you came home, but you definitely are. Just yesterday, Daddy and I found out that you're too big for your Preemie diapers now. You now wear full-term newborn diapers. Good growing!!

One more thing: Your bouncy chair is probably the best $30 Daddy and I have ever spent. You love it! We call it your Princess Throne. You love to sleep in it during the day, all tucked in with your blanket. Your Throne is in the Living Room, where Mommy and Daddy can keep an eye on you, but still do things around the apartment. You like having the TV on in the background for the happy noises. You're also already trying to reach for the toys that hang down on your Throne. You've been successful in connecting your hand to them once or twice. This is good progress in developing your eye-hand coordination. Daddy and I are impressed!

You're doing very well, Baby. Everyone is so happy that you're finally home, including you!

Home Sweet Home

Dear Baby,

It's been about four days since you've been home. The first couple nights were rough. You must have been overwhelmed, because your feeding schedule got all messed up. In fact, there really wasn't a "schedule" to speak of. You ate completely random amounts at completely random times. You didn't sleep much the first night; which means neither did Daddy or me. But that's ok. Daddy and I took turns letting the other sleep. I took the night shift, because I'm a night owl anyway; and just as I was beginning to get too exhausted to function, Daddy woke up and took over. Daddy and I are a great team!

Luckily it was Daddy's weekend when you came home, and luckily you settled in really quickly. Now you're back to a somewhat regular feeding schedule and you sleep for long periods of time (which is good, because a human can only grow and develop when asleep). The nurse at the NICU was worried that I wouldn't be able to keep up with your feeding demands, so she slipped me a case of premixed formula. She didn't need to worry. In just the last couple days, my milk supply has doubled! I'm definitely keeping up.

The only kink in our plans that remains is that you don't like to sleep in your crib for very long right now. I totally understand though. You were in Mommy's womb for almost seven months. Then you were in the little incubator for a few weeks. Now you've been in the little cots at the hospital for a few weeks. You're used to sleeping in small spaces. Your crib is absolutely beautiful, but it's quite large (especially compared to your tiny body). So, despite what all the "experts" say, I bring you into bed with me for most of the night. I try to put you to bed in your crib after each feeding, but most of the time you howl until I bring you back out and cuddle you.

Luckily for us, I don't move in my sleep. Whatever position I fall asleep in, is the exact same position I wake up in. Daddy moves around a lot though; so I hold you against my chest, with you facing outwards so your breathing is nice and clear, with my back to Daddy. I make sure I have my arm around you to hold you in place, and I make sure your neck is straight so you can breathe easily.

All the experts and all the books advise against this, but they don't know you. I read the "Tao of Motherhood" recently, and it's really helped put things in perspective. Each baby is different. Each parent is different. Therefore the "best" thing to do for each new family is different. I don't feel bad for bringing you into bed with me, even if the books disagree, because I know you're safe and I know you'll sleep better this way. I feel the highest authority on what's right for a child is his/her mother's own intuition.

Baby books nowadays are good at stressing that each baby is an individual, but then they go on to give generic advice and claim it's what's best for all babies. Those two statements seem contradictory to me. So, I've decided to just do what our "bond" tells me is right to do, and to hell with all the so-called "experts". The only people that are experts at raising you are you, me and your Daddy!

I hope more mothers start listening to their intuition, instead of raising their babies "by the book". I also hope more mothers read the "Tao of Motherhood". Not only did it make me feel better about my decisions regarding you, but it helped me feel less stressed and more serene about being a mommy.

The Best Day Ever!

Well, that was fast! Just a couple days ago, I wrote to you about how you were coming home soon. Well, I went to the NICU yesterday morning and was told that you'd be coming home today! You have no idea how thrilled Daddy and I are! It feels like Christmas!!

You passed your carseat test with flying colours. You didn't even fuss one bit; you just sat there happily looking around the room. A lot of babies find the car seat uncomfortable or scary (because it's new) and will cry hysterically. Not you! You're so ready to come home.

You've also created your own feeding schedule already. Instead of drinking the 60mL every three hours that the nurses were giving you, you prefer to drink about 90mL every four hours instead. This helps me out, because it means the pumping schedule I've already created for myself ensures that there's always at least two feedings worth of milk available for you.

I hope you're just as happy at home as you seem to be in the NICU. I find myself amazed at what a "Dream Baby" you've been so far. You don't cry hysterically, like most babies, until your needs are met; and, when you do fuss or cry, you calm down almost immediately once I start talking quietly to you and stroke your hair or pick you up. You're a surrpisingly mellow, easy to please, little girl! Even the nurses said that you constantly surprise them with how content you always are. The only time you ever cried like a baby normally does (loud and inconsolable for a while) was when you were still having tummy problems, and you had an enormous amount of gas that needed to be passed. Since too much gas can cause actual pain, I'm not surprised that you cried that hard until you had passed it! Besides that one episode, you always seem to be at peace.

There's a lot of mothers who swear they have a "psychic"-like bond with their babies. These mothers know what their baby needs almost instantly without having to analyze the type of crying their babies are doing or their body language, etc. Some mothers even know, without being in the same room or having the baby make any noise, when their baby is awake. I've never heard of a baby having that same bond with its mother and responding to that bond! Babies only have the capacity to recognize their own needs, and whether or not those needs are being met. They certainly don't (can't) realize that there's other people who have their own needs and that they can effect those people's moods by meeting or not meeting those people's needs.

You, however, are different. It's like you know what makes Daddy and me happy or content, and you do what you can to ensure we're fulfilled as well. You know we love it when you smile, so you smile all the time and even laugh. You seem to have picked up that I was struggling to keep up with your feedings, so you've made yourself a feeding schedule that gives me an opportunity to keep up with your tummy. You are constantly blowing my mind with how mature you are, Baby! You aren't just a gift, or even just a miracle, you are indescribable.

Superstar!

Dear Baby,

Today I went to the NICU to drop off bottles and spend time with you (Daddy would have come too, but he works today). When I got there, your nurse gave me some amazing news! You no longer have to have your vitals monitored, which means we took the ECG/Respiration/Oxygen Level feeds off of you. You also are feeding orally for all your feedings now, which means we got to take that nasty feeding tube out. You hate the feeding tube; and, despite the fact that it's taped to your face, you somehow manage to pull it out often. Now you don't have to have it anymore!

Also, you no longer are on any medication, including the fortifier we had to add to my breastmilk to help you grow.

The nurses are feeding you "on demand" now, which means they wait until you wake up hungry to feed you, and they let you drink as much or as little as you want.

I can't believe that you're going to be home very soon. Mommy and Daddy are hoping you'll be discharged by Thursday morning at the latest. That way we can bring you to the Nan's house for Thanksgiving dinner! If that happens, I'm not going to tell the Nan's: Daddy and I will just show up with you as a surprise!

The nurse said that all the nurses and doctors are surprised by how fast you've matured. Apparently they've never seen a baby progress as fast as you. I am so thrilled and so proud! Daddy is too!

A Big Girl On The Inside

Dear Baby,

You seem to think that you're a full term baby. You have no idea that you're just a tiny, two month premature, little girl. You're still just over a month from your original due date, yet you're developmentally on par (and, in some areas, surpass) full term babies. I guess you're only premature in the physical sense. I don't know why, but this is most apparent to me when I'm watching you (this tiny baby) suck as vigorously as any full term baby on a choochee that's too big for you.

Daddy and I are proud of how smart and mature you are!

Also, you just had your first growth spurt ever. Just last week you had finally reached the 5lbs mark. Today you're more than 6lbs 4oz. I guess you're catching up to the full term babies as well now!

*****

Daddy Says: "Hi, Baby! I love you, and I'll do anything I can to make you happy!"

Adorable Daddy

Dear Baby,

Today Daddy and I were watching TV together after we got home from visiting you at the NICU. A Tim Horton's commercial came on where a daughter had just moved away from her parent's, and her parents were in town to see her new place. The father kept pointing out all the flaws about his daughter's new place and the town she was in. Eventually they went to Tim Horton's.

While the father was paying, the mother confided to the daughter that her dad really misses her. Then the father joins them at the table, and the daughter told him to "never stop visiting". The father replied, "I miss you too."

Right after the commercial ended, your Daddy waved it away and said, "No. Bad Tim Horton's. No." I looked over and saw that he was all teary-eyed. He was thinking about when you move out, and it made him sad. I giggled a bit, because you're not even home from the hospital yet.

Isn't Daddy cute?

Beautiful

Dear Baby,

I'm thrilled, but also a little surprised. When some of the parents whose babies are in the NICU walk by and look at you, instead of smiling and continuing on to see their own child, they stop and stare.

Then they start remarking on how beautiful/adorable/cute you are. This is great, and I completely agree with them, but it's a little surprising that they seem to forget about their own babies for a second when they're in your presence! Even the parents with baby's that are sickly or struggling to keep their vitals in a normal range will stop to fawn over you! One couple even said you're perfect, and I couldn't agree more.

Unlike a lot of other preemies, you're in perfect proportion. You look like a regular, healthy newborn just shrunk down about 25%. You're obviously the prettiest baby in the NICU!

Lvl Up: 1 Month

Dear Baby,

Today you are one month old! It's crazy to think that I should still be pregnant with you right now, with just over another month to go. I am shocked and impressed with your development so far! You're doing things that even full term babies take a while to master. The nurses at the NICU call you a super star, and Mommy and Daddy totally agree with them!

To celebrate your one month birthday, I'm going to make a list of all the things you can already do:

• Smile - You already smile, and it is beautiful! A lot of people say babies smile involuntarily, but I don't agree with that. You don't smile all the time for no reason! You only smile when people are talking; most of all when you hear Mommy and Daddy talking!

• Laugh - You don't make any noise; but when Mommy or Daddy say things with a joking tone in our voice, or when we laugh, you smile and open your mouth really wide. Your lower jaw moves up and down slightly: You look exactly like you're laughing but without sound.


• Hands - You've already discovered your hands. You've realized there's one on either side of you (you spent a good half hour looking at one, then the other, then back to the first again); you realize they're part of you; and you have excellent control over them.


• Neck - You can already hold your head up on your own for a good amount of time. You can even lift your head to turn it from one side to the other when you're lieing on your tummy (sometimes the nurses put you on your tummy after a feed, because you have reflux).


• Play - This was the most amazing discovery of all! You already understand the concept of a game!! I was holding you a week ago, and you suddenly opened your mouth but you weren't hungry or yawning. I kissed inside it to make a funny noise, and you started doing your silent laugh. Then you opened your mouth again, so I kissed inside it again, and again you laughed. This went on for a few minutes, and each time you held your mouth open until I kissed inside it. Not only did you figure that out, but you remember it! Almost everytime I go in to visit you we play our game (Daddy calls it "Kissy Face") for a bit.

Those are the discoveries you've already made that are the most impressive to me. Mommy and Daddy are so proud of how smart and advanced you are. We can't wait to see what else you pick up on early as you grow!

Speaking of growing, you're over 5lbs now! Good job, Baby. Keep up the good work!

Photo-tastic

Dear Baby,

We're a family!